A word with god

I closed my eyes and the past 8 years just flashed in front of me. I guess, he never thought i would be silent for so long. To be honest, he did make an attempt to get us back on talking terms ...but then, as always, it was he who screwed up and angered me more. Anyway, he's trying it again... another one of his cheap tricks. So, finally i decided to break my silence and talk.
"What the hell do you think you're doing??", I asked out loud.
"Well, I'm just trying to make things better for you", came the reply.
"Better... yeah why not!! you always made things better!! you're just so good at doing that. Perhaps our definitions of the word 'better' differ in totality. The last time you made things better for me, I ended up with a heart so broken that it hurts till date ...and the time before that ...I think it's 'better' if i don't mention it." I was waiting to hear some kind of justification.
"Don't you find yourself a better man today?? Don't you feel that you've earned the position where you are?", he started.

"...and would i have been worse had everything been normal and fine", I cut him off

"I dunno but what could have given you the drive to achieve whatever you achieved", he tried to justify.

"Wow... that's great!!. You screw up someone's life under the cover of giving him the drive to acheive ...and then you have the heart to justify your cruel actions in this manner", I stood amazed. How could someone defend himself like that!??

"Fine, I agree i did bad things to you. But isn't it unfair on your part to not look at the good things. Afterall, you are the one who always talks about the 'law of averages'. Take your time and you'll see that your share of good and bad things will balance itself out", he spoke after a moment of absolute silence.

"Even if I forgive you for the times long lost, I can never forgive you for her. Why the hell did you do that to me? At a time when i had lost myself, she brought me back to life... and then when I was truly and deeply in love with her, you changed everything. Why did you show me the dream that was not meant to be. You have no idea how much that hurt", I said suppressing the anguish.

"Well, let's say you saw the wrong dream. She was there because you were losing focus. Her purpose was to bring you on the right track and she accomplished her mission. You were not supposed to be with her. However, I like it that you loved her inspite of the way she went out of your life", he anwered calmly, with a smile on his face.

Though I didn't want to accept it, I did get his point. Such a smart-ass... the best negotiator of all times. "Alright, I choose to move ahead. You know it well that i don't dig the dead. So, it's over and it's okay now. But i'm seriously worried about this new prank you're playing on me"

"It's not a prank for 'my' sake!!! She's very real and you know that", he replied.

"Yeah i know how real things are in my life. I've gotten used to your sense of realism. But I have to admit that i'm doing the same thing again. I am falling for her... rather, I have fallen for her. I hate to say this but please!! promise me you won't screw this up", I said this with a little element of expectation. I had't expected anything from him since 8 years. So, this was an uncomfortable feeling.

"You know I don't make promises. I never commit to anything", came the rather spontaneous reply.

"Yeah, I've heard that before", is all I could say.

"But then you have to have faith ...", he started.

I immediately cut him off on this one, "Don't you give me any bullshit on faith!!!"

"... alright, not in me but at least in yourself. You know it well that it is your faith in yourself and your determination that has helped you achieve whatever you have", he defended himself.

"umm, that could be said. I really feel like telling you what i've learnt. It's not about you, and it's not about the devil either. It's just me... yeah, only me. Be it your grace or the devil's force, it's me who does everything. You guys just set the stage ...I guess i've learnt to live with that fact now", I was beginning to calm down.

"You seem to have stolen our trade secret!!", he laughed.

"Hehe, it's okay... don't worry! I won't try to be god, nor the devil. But on a more serious note, I know what i'm gonna do. I will walk the path I want to. I take responsibility of my own destiny. I know I love her and I will do everything it takes to reach the heights where we could rise above everything else and be together. Now it doesn't matter even if you screw this up, again", I was composed and was talking to him like a friend.

"Hmm, I like that attitude of yours. Anyway, I have to go now... need to attend to my business", he started to walk away. "Perhaps, we should be talking more ...and more often", he said while waving me goodbye.

"Well, that depends on your conduct this time", I smiled and winked.

I opened my eyes and had a strange feeling. The kind of feeling you get on talking to someone you've known for so long but haven't spoken to since ages.