Friday, December 08, 2006

yaadon ke paakhii

kuchh yaadon ke swarnim paakhi, mann ke aangan mein udte hain.
aur ab mere saare sapney, tere sapnon se judte hain.
mein yahaan chalaa, tum wahaan chale, par aan padaa hai mod vohii,
jiske aage apne raste, ab ek dishaa mein mudte hain.

ek dishaahiin jeevan ko tab, jeevan kaa saar samajh aayaa,
jab dhruv taaraa bankar usko, phir maarg prem ne dikhlaayaa.
mann mein pooraa vishvaas liye, tann mein komal aabhaas liye,
jis oar prem kaa uday dikhe, hum usii oar chal padte hain
aur ab mere saare sapney, tere sapnon se judte hain.

woh saal, maheene, din, woh pal, jab jab hum donon door rahe,
ek ajab, sukhad aabhaas bane, tum aksar mujhko paas lage.
lekin ab koi khed nahiin, jeevan se bhii matbhed nahiin
patjhad mein hariyaale patte, bhii shaakh se apnii jhadte hain
par ab apne saare raste, bas ek dishaa mein mudte hain.

ab jeevan saath bitaanaa hai, sukh dukh mein saath nibhaanaa hai.
jo kuchh jeevan mein arjit ho, tumhein arpit karte jaanaa hai.
mein har kshan tumko yaad karoon aur har pal tum mujhko socho,
yuun jeevan maalaa mein, meethii yaadon ke motii jadte hain.
jin yaadon ke swarnim paakhii, mann ke aangan mein udte hain

- Manas Saran (7th Dec, 2006)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Heavenly Hampi (12th-14th August '06)

The pics for the ride can be seen from my yahoo album here

Travel Log
The touring bug had bitten me even before I bought my bike ...and that's one of the reasons why i decided on Avenger. The tour to Bidar proved to be the catalyst. I had done 195kms when i did the ride to Bidar but it only left me asking for more.
15th August was a tuesday and immediately i spotted a golden opportunity for touring. 12th and 13th being saturday and sunday, I only had to take a leave for 14th. I had two trips in mind, one was Pune/Mahabaleshwar and the the other was Coastal Andhra. I posted about these on various forums and groups looking for some tourers from Hyderabad. Unfortunately the response was not too good but frankly, I wasn't looking at 10-15 bikers... I wanted just 2-3 good, serious and responsible riders to do the tour. Around the same time I had a crash on 23rd July ...didn't break any bones but got badly bruised. Still undeterred, i was hoping to recover by the time of the trip.Finally I found 3 guys, Sudhakar and Harsha from xBhp.com and Abhiraj from Hyderabad Avengers. We met up a couple of times and decided to do Coastal Andhra but just one week before the tour dates there were heavy rains and bad floods in that region and we had to drop that plan. The next best options on our minds were Bangalore and Hampi. Hampi was a unanimous decision because it looked like a brilliant combination of cultural heritage and natural beauty. It is an ancient city which has been excavated. It is said to be the kingdom of Kishkindha, mentioned in the Ramayana, which was ruled by Bali and it is now a world heritage site.
All of us are working with software companies and we don't get any time during the week. We could meet just once on Monday, 7th Aug where Ashish (of The Great Indian Roadtrip fame) also met us and shared his experience about touring. He proved to be a big boost to our enthusiam. After this meetup, all the coordination happened on phones. Anyway, that was how it all started... now coming to the real thing -

Day0 - Friday, 11th Aug 06
I left home at 9:30AM and went straight to Rahul Bajaj Showroom in Secundrabad. After getting my bike checked and basic things like clutch and brakes tightening and chain lubrication done I bought a spare clutch and throttle cable, just in case I break any of them on the way. After that I went to an optician to get my shades fixed as they had lost a screw. Then i attended office through the day and in the evening went around the city hunting for a pair of riding gloves. Ultimately I realized that i won't get proper riding gloves in Hyderabad... at least not at such a short notice. So, i bought a pair of leather gloves with some basic knuckle protection. With that, my shopping list was complete. Then at 10 in the night Abhiraj called up and told that he won't be able to make it for the trip. He had some personal reasons and frankly, I didn't want to force anyone. I was absolutely fine in a group of three. So, the final group was Sudhakar (on a beautiful black Karizma), Harsha (on the legendary Bullet, 1977 model) and myself (on my lady in red, Avenger). Harsha and Sudhakar had talked to me and it was decided that Sudhakar will come to my place at 5 in the morning and we'll meet up with Harsha at the turn for Bangalore Highway (NH7) from Mehdipatnam. Packed my bags and uploaded some music to my new phone (Nokia 6270, which was also the official camera for this trip) and slept at around 12 in the night.

Day1 - Saturday, 12th Aug 06 - TripMeter => 0Km
I got up at 4:30 in the morning with a little over 4 hours of sleep. Sudhakar came over to my place at around 5:30AM and after having a light breakfast we loaded the saddlebags (my new Cramster Colt bags) on to my bike. With mom's aashirvaad, we left home at 6:00 AM and reached Mehdipatnam at 6:15 AM. Harsha was also there in a few minutes. So, this was the beginning. In a little while we were on NH7. The initial streach was not very good and there was some traffic but once we crossed that area it was a comfortable 80+ kmph ride till Jadcherla from where we were to leave NH7. We reached Jadcherla at 8:30AM having done 88Km. We had some really sweet tea and pretty bad samosas here and then took a right turn for Mahbubnagar. The scenery suddenly started changing after Jadcherla... right from the moment we turned towards Mahbubnagar. The hilly terrain had started to appear and it was getting more and more beautiful. This road was okay with some patch work done here and there. Usual speeds on this road were around 60. We didn't stop at Mahbubnagar as it was just 10Km from Jadcherla. Instead we went all the way till Marikal reaching there at 10:15 AM (139Km done). We had breakfast at this place. Ate some dosas and idlys at one of the roadside thelas. From then on we were going at a good 80+kmph speed but with caution at the accident prone zones and near villages. The road is also not great. There are a few potholes here and there, especially on the sides of the road. We stopped for taking pics at a few places on the way and we were at the AP-Karnataka border at around 11:30AM. AP and Karnataka are separated by the Krishna river at this place and at the moment, this river is in a mighty form. The areas near the banks are flooded and the river currents are really strong. We took some pics at the bridge. We could also see the Raichur Thermal Power Plant from there. We entered Karnataka after crossing the bridge onto SH18. The road quality improved by a huge margine and we could speed up. After another 20Kms we were in Raichur where we stopped for tea. At this point we were half way (200Km). Then we took a righ on to SH20 and carried on for another 11Kms and then took a left on to SH23 which would take us to Sundnaur via Manavi. Karnataka roads were simply amazing. The only bad part about these roads are the speed breakers which are frequent and many in number. I would agree that these are required for safety near the roadside villages but the problem is that where there could have been just one bump, there is a rumble strip of 5 to 8 bumps... and that really shakes your bones. Anyway, the road is such where you can easily do 100 but with heavy crosswinds we could only cruise at 90. Few times Sudhakar and I crossed the 100 mark in a crouching position. This road is fairly beautiful because of the hills around. We reached Sindnaur at 3:00PM and 294Kms. We had lunch at a restaurant here. In fact, they served pretty good food. Then we went further on SH23 till Gangawati where we reached at 5:30 having done 340Kms. From here Hospet was around 40Km. We took the route mentioned in the map we were carrying. This one went through a village called Kampli and was a narrow road in a bad shape. So, we kept going slow and steady but now it had started getting dark and I was beginning to worry as we were on a bad and unpredictable road going through hilly terrain. I wanted to get to Hospet as soon as possible. We just stopped once for taking pics and from then on it was too dark to take any pics. So, we just kept going. We would also ask for directions from the locals. Though all the boards in the area were in Kannada, we knew we were close. Then one of the guys there made a "mamu" of us. Took a lift and took us 5Kms off track... that too when our butts had almost gone numb :D, Anyway, after the 10Km detour we reached Hospet at almost 8:00 PM. We found a lodge which would also give parking space for the bikes. The room rent was 300 bucks which was pretty reasonable for the room we got. At that moment we were too tired to do anything. We just had our dinner at a nearby place and went off to sleep. Though the road from Gangawati via Kampi was pretty bad, it had two distinct advantages. First, that streach was very beautiful and second, it went through Hampi to Hospet. So, we had already gotten a trailer of how big Hampi was what all could be the places of interest. Inspite of everything, it was a new personal record for all three of us... 400Km on a bike in a sigle day.

Day2 - Sunday, 13th Aug 06 - TripMeter => 400.2Km
The previous day had left us fairly tired. So, we took some rest, got up late and were good to go by 11AM. After breakfast at a South Indian cafe, we left for Hampi at 11:30AM. As we had seen the area the day before and we knew the road, we decided to do a rewind. We went back 25Kms on the same road and at a picturesque location we parked our bikes on the roadside and climbed up into the rocks. It was one hell of a view from there - the winding road, banana plantations all over, lush green fields, some ruins here and there, rocks, hills and the mighty Tungabhadra river and its channels. After spending some time there we headed towards Hampi and starded visiting the monuments one after the other as they came on our way. The first one was the Raghunath Temple - built on a hill this was a beautiful temple. We also witnessed a wedding ceremony going on there. Then the next halt was an unkempt Venkateshwara Temple. Then we went to the royal enclosures. There were many tourists including foriegners at this place. This was the place where the rulers used to live. They had a brilliant water system in place. The octagonal baths and moats could clearly be seen. The enclosure itself is in the form of a flat topped pyramid with buitiful carvings on it. From there we headed towards the Lotus Mahal and Elephant Enclosures. There was a minor entry fee of Rs.10 for these places. However, for non-indian nationals it was 5$ or Rs.250. We then went to the Ranga Temple, which is almost in tatters. Then we were back on the main road and next things on the agenda were the Laxmi Narasimha Statue and the Badavlinga Temple. The Laxmi Narasimha statue is a huge 6.7 mts high monolithic statue of Narasimha, Vishnu's avatar. This one's really grand. Along side this, is the monolithic Badavlinga, which is a massive Shiva Linga. With this, our Hampi Agenda was over. The next thing on our minds was the Tungabhadra Dam which is about 6Kms from Hospet. We decided to skip lunch and after reacing Hospet, which is some 10Km from Hampi, we headed straight to Tungabhadra Dam. Now, this place makes you feel so small and insignificant. The reservoir and filled to it's capacity and all the gates of the Tungabhadra dam were open. We could see massive amounts water gushing out with raw force. There was so much water in the huge reservoir that it almost looked like the sea. Due to the water being released from the dam, the Tungabhadra river was flooded and had a mighty currents. So, we didn't dare to go anywhere near the treacherous waters of the river and its channels. We took some pics of the dam from a distance, but with due respect to the security of our nation and the "photography strictly prohibbited" boards put up on the dam, we refrained from taking any pics of the reservoir. There were also some nice looking public gardens near the dam. We went to this place on a sunday, so it was awfully crowded. Added to it, we had walked so much through the day that we avoided going to the public gardens and came back to the lodge by about 6:00PM. We hadn't eaten anything significant after the breakfast. So, we had an early dinner and then spent the rest of the time on the terrace of the lodge enjoying the cool breeze and watching the town.

Day3 - Monday, 14th Aug 06 - TripMeter => 469.3Km
Once again we were up by 4:30AM and by the time we packed and got ready to leave it was 5:30AM. We checked out of the lodge and after strapping the saddlebags back on the bike, and a round of morning tea, we left for Gangawati at 6:30AM. This time we asked a few locals for the way and they recommended us to take the highway instead of the village roads through Kampli. So, we went some 25Kms on NH13 and then turned right onto some state highway to Gangawati. Now this road needs a special mention. We were 26Kms away from Gangawati and these proved to be the best 26Kms out of the 862.3Kms we did on the entire trip. This was a wide road between the hills. The bends weren't sharp and there were very few speedbreakers. This was an absolute ripfest - the clutches were given rest and throttles were maxed out. Sudhakar hit 131kmph on his Karizma, I did 115kmph on my Avenger and Harsha did 105 on his bull. We had all broken our personal speed records on this flawless road. If we had time, we would have loved to do this road back and forth again. It was also very beautiful... hills on both sides and sunflower fields. The early morning sunlight added that extra bit of glow to the entire scenery. We stopped at a couple of places to take pics too. We reached Gangawati at 7:30AM, in one hour as opposed to the two and a half hours it took while going. From then on, we were travelling the same roads but at a comparitively higher speed (85-95kmph) because there crosswinds were not there. We stopped for tea and biscuits at Pothnal (about 120Kms) and then at a roadside dhaba about 11kms from Raichur, for brunch. We had done about 190Kms by 11AM and were almost half way through. Immediately after crossing Raichur, we were faced with massive crosswinds. This was the area near the Krishna river. The winds were so strong that it was scary taking the bike above 70kmph. The winds coming from the left were pushing us toards the oncoming traffic on the right side. So, we were riding pretty slowly and carefully. While crossing the Krishna bridge, we noticed that the river's flow had increased over the past two days and it had engulfed more land than before. Anyway, we entered the AP state boundry and once again the roads weren't that great. The crosswinds had mellowed down. So, we were doing around 80kmph. But with the quality of roads in AP, it was a little scary going faster than that. The road was comparitively narrow, unmarked and had occasional potholes too. We didn't stop at any of the bigger towns. We just kept going, stopping for a while at small places for a tea. Around 4 we reached Jadcherla and took a left onto NH7, the Bangalore Highway. We were going at around 80+ speeds when we noticed a swarm of honey bees on the road. But it was too late to do anything about it. Wearing helmets with visors closed and gloves proved to be the saviours. They bees hit us like bullets but luckily none of us was stung. The next stop was Shadnagar, around 50Kms from Hyderabad. We stopped here to have dosas and badam Milk. This was around 5:00PM and we had started to get the feeling "Ab Hyderabad door nahiin". From Shadnagar, the streach on the Bangalore highway was really bad. Bad roads and lousy traffic - we battled both these demons for the next one hour and finally took to left to get off the highway and headed towards Mehdipatnam. At 6:20PM, We stopped at Mehdipatnam for a while to do all the hisaab kitaab and after congratulating each other on completing this tour safely and for the fun times we had together, we parted ways and headed towards our homes. I reached home at 7:00PM. No matter how awesome the tour was, it was good to be home. At the end of the tour the trip meter read 862.3Kms!!

This was my first "real" biking tour and I'm glad I lost my virginity to touring in such a beautiful manner. Few things I learnt the hard way about touring were - 1. Never wear jeans while touring. The stiches and the fabric literally bruises your butt over such a distance. 2. Always carry cash, especially for buying fuel. None of the petrol pumps on the highway accept cards. 3. Always wear a full sleeved shirt and apply sunscreen lotion lest you should end up having massive sunburns just like i did ;).
Overall, this tour was an amazing experience and has left me addicted to biking and asking for more. I did grab some 200+ shots in my phone, and did try write about what I saw on the way and at Hampi. But, I still think I've failed at both, for what I saw and felt can neither be captured on film nor can be put in words. It was an amazing sense of pride and achievement when people on the way gave "that" what-is-this-creature look. Actually we realized that this was happening for two reasons. Firsly, they weren't used to seeing Karizmas and Avengers. In fact, we did not see another Karizma or Avenger through the entire tour. Secondly, they weren't used to seeing riders wearing helmets and gloves. Everywhere we were met with amazement. Cruising on the highways was in itself a great experience. We would take turns to head or tail the group. This would keep us together and relaxed. The person heading the group had the responsibility of letting the others know of an oncoming speed breaker or pothole by raising his hand. The person in the middle would slow down or stop if the person tailing the group got left behind and the person tailing the group would do that for sometime and then speed up to take the lead making sure everyone is safe. It was the "one for all and all of one" kind of feel... we were like the three musketeers!!

The pics for the ride can be seen from my yahoo album here

Monday, June 12, 2006

Biking to Bidar - Pics




Biking to Bidar

It finally happened... the much awaited first long drive for my Medusa (For those who don't know who Medusa is, it is the name of my red Avenger. As for the name, the origins are here).
Club Tarmac is a bikers group started by wipro employees. Fortunately I happened to know a couple of signicant people in that group and shared their enthusiasm on long distance riding. I had made a mention to Sharad that i was keen on being a part of their next ride. He told me a couple of weeks back that they were planning to do Bidar, Karnataka. Well, the place is about 136 Km from Hyderabad but the very fact that it was not in AP made it look quite a long distance :) Unsure of whether i would be able to ride that much, I asked KoPoS to join me in the adventure ...and he gladly volunteered his ass.
Now the plan was on... and there was no looking back. The D-Day was near - 10th June '06 and I found it hard to resist my excitement. On 9th i did all the basic checks - Engine Oil, Air pressure in tyres, tightening of all lose screws - and got the tank filled with "Speed" petrol (Yeah, my Medusa needs to be fed quality stuff... and damn the govt, Speed now costs 55 Rs/litre)
I could barely sleep through the night because of the excitement... it was almost as if i were to leave for my honeymoon. The clock struck 5 and I jumped out of bed... fully charged!! Mom, being the nicest mom of all, decided to cook "poori and aaloo kii sabzii" for the riders. By the time KoPoS came to my place, the "khaanaa" was ready and packed. We quickly put everything in one bag and at 6:30 AM set off for Wipro Campus, Madhapur, which was the starting point for the tour. When we reched there were only 2 bikes and 4 riders there, but as the "Hyderabad Standard Time" of 7:30 approached, the bikes and riders were pouring in. Finally the counts were something like - 1 car, 14 bikes, 27 bikers and 29 people in all mostly people from Wipro, others from different companies... 2 guys from ISB were also there.
Sharad and Vinay, the organizers gave a quick roundup of the basic rules (for our safety). We decided to take a longer route while going because the traffic was less. The route was -
Madhapur -> Mehdipatnam Food World -> Langar House -> Shankarpally -> Vikarabad Flyover -> Sadaseopet -> Zaheerabad -> Bidar - approximating 185Km.
While going I took the rider's seat and KoPoS was my poor pillion rider. We started off with ease syncing up every now and then, but once we hit the highway past langar house, all engines revved up!! The bikers split up into smaller groups with one group doing high speed cruising (80+ Kmph) and the other taking it easy. KoPoS & I, of course, were among the speedsters which also included Umesh & Vijay (on a Pulsar 150), Abhay & Neeraja (on a Pulsar 180) and Sharad & Ramapriya (on a TBird). We went consistently above 90 for a faily long time and Medusa performed much better than what i expected from her.
Suresh & Vipin were there on a new Apache (still on a temporary number, done 750Km) ...and they too did brave 80's :) I also took a small test ride of the Apache... and man, the bike rocks. Looks great and feels great.
We took reasonably long breaks at reasonable distances and the fun factor just kept on building. The only uncool thing that happened was an accident when a fellow biker's bike went off road and skidded causing some injuries to him as well as his pillion (I hope you guys are doing fine).... but it could have been much worse and these guys had a narrow escape. Thank devil, we had a car in the group ...and thank you guys for keeping the spirit up and inspite of being hurt, deciding to go on with the tour. We stopped at a dhaba where the "poori and aalu" mom had given, disappeared within minutes. Finally, after all the awesome episodes we reached the Bidar Fort at around 2 in the afternoon. Upon reaching there, we did the customary lineup of the vehicles and then some posing and modelling :) Locals there looked pretty amazed seeing us.
The good part about the fort is that you can take the bikes right in, as far as possible. The place is quite unkempt... but that too has a beauty of its own. Its a huge fort pretty similar in architecture to the legendary Golconda Fort. For a while put our bikes to rest and climbed into the ruins get a personal feel of the place ...and it was quite an experience as we wandered around discussing the "love life" of the kings who would have once lived there.
At 4 we decided to leave back for Hyderabad. For those who're thinking that we went riding for 200Km just to see some ruins for 2 hours, I have just one thing to say - for people like us, who believe in biking as their religion, the destination is just an excuse for the ride.
Because it was going to be dark soon, we decided to take the shortest route back which was -
Bidar -> Zaheerabad -> NH9 till BHEL, Lingampally and then disperse from there.
This time we had KoPoS riding my Medusa with me on the pillion seat ...and he roared her up to a 110!! We stopped at this punjaabi dhaba near Zaheerabad called "Raaz Punjabi Dhaba". I never used to believe that the movie "Raaz" had a cult following till i saw this dhaba... even the paan shop there was named "Raaz". Anyway, we started off with repeated rounds of tea, lassi and butter milk. Then came the pakoras which tested our limits for being able to tolerate spicy food. Finally after spending almost an hour and a half there, we left at about 6:30 PM. We hurried through this streach so that we could cover the maximum distance before it gets dark. This road had heavy traffic and we couldn't really speed up. However, KoPoS still managed to do 80. Then it was a continuous drive for about 60 Km till we were around 30 Km from BHEL where we stopped at an on-road mango shop. It suddenly started raining and we decided to stay there for a while... well, eating mangoes while it's raining is good fun! Once the rains went down to a minimum, we left from there on our way to BHEL. This was a fairly bad streach with a lot of heavy traffic and not-so-good roads. By about 9 we reached BHEL where we all posed for a final photograph and then left for our homes. KoPoS and I were home at about 9:20 PM. It was an amazing trip - 316.8 Km in all out of which i rode 197Km and I wish i could have done the rest too. I'm so addicted to biking now. The more I do it, the more I want to do it!Very rightly said - 4 wheels to move the body, 2 wheels to move the soul!!!

another post regarding this trip is here

Friday, March 10, 2006

Mein bhool jaoon

This one's written by Javed Akhtar.... I call it his Taj-Mahal. He hasn't been able to beat this himself.

mein bhool jaoon tujhe, ab yahi munaasib hai...
magar bhulana bhi chaahoon to kaise bhooloon,
ki tum to phir bhi haqeeqat ho, koi khwaab nahiin
yahan to dil ka yeh aalam hai, kya kahoon...
kambakht!!
bhula saka na ye, woh silsila jo tha hi nahiin,
woh ek khayaal jo aawaaz tak gaya hi nahiin,
woh ek baat jo mein keh nahiin saka tumse,
woh ek lakht jo hum mein kabhi raha hi nahiin..
agar yeh haal hai dil ka to koi samjhaaye,
tujhe bhulana bhi chaahoon to kaise bhooloon,
ki tum to phir bhi haqeeqat ho, koi khwaab nahiin
ki tum to phir bhi haqeeqat ho, koi khwaab nahiin

Friday, February 10, 2006

I said it...

The pessimist said that the beer-mug is half empty, the optimist said that it is half full.
I said nothing, just went ahead and drank the beer!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Apnaapan

Aaj mere kisii apne ne,
koi apna khoya
Maine socha ki uska koi
bhalaa, mera kya lagaa?
...par jab usse milaa
to ek vichitr aabhaas hua
Mere liye to sab kuchh pehle sa tha
Phir bhi kuchh kho dene
ka sa ehsaas hua

Uski aankhon mein thodi namii thii
Aaj usko koi kamii thii
Mein do ghadi saath baitha,
thoda saath to nibhaayaa,
thoda sa dukh chakh liya
aur thoda saath baandh laaayaa

Jo nahiin raha, woh mera koi nahiin tha
Mein to usse mila bhi nahiin tha
Mujhe usse baandhne waali,
bas ek hi kachchi dor thii
...ki woh mere kisii apne ka apna koi tha

Kisii aur ki bhaavanaaon ke aaveg mein,
jab hum swayam hi behte hain
Uska dukh apna lagna,
ise apnaapan kehte hain

...lagta hai ki aaj maine koi apna khoya!

-- Manas Saran (29th Dec, 2005)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I said it...

Life makes us learn so much! ...but for what???
Ultimately, we all die before applying even 10% of the knowledge!!!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Means and extremes

Yesterday I was listening to ghazals and other shayari by Mirza Ghalib and one particular line caught my attention... or I could say made my day (good poems can make my day). Anyway, he says "dard kaa had se guzarnaa hai dava ho jaanaa". I found it so contradictory, yet so true and then I was thinking about the extremes in life in general.
Living life at extremes is a wierd experience. You see things changing in an absolutely unpredictable way. I am someone who's always on the edge... experiencing the extremes of everything in life. My experiments with life, out of which most happen to be circumstantial and some intentional, have made me realize that life at extremes is so full of paradoxes. These are phenomena that most people with average lifestyles (or life at means) never experience. Whether these are good or bad is a matter or perception because it is one extreme case that turns coal into diamond and another that reduces a shining star to a black hole.
There have been times when I've shouted "woah... this is the rush I always wanted!!!" and times when I said "why can't my life be just normal!!??" and I've made both statements with equal emotional intensity. This is just the beginning and we can already see the paradoxes emerging.
Extremes of sensitivity actually makes you immune to emotional damage, thus rendering you insensitive. This isn't much different from the process of biological immunization against diseases. We are born with a wish to live... as life goes on and gets tougher, the wish to live becomes the will to survive. With our natural tendency to defend ourselves from any kind of damage be it physical or emotional, we do react subconciously.
Another major paradox is with anger and frustration. You get frustrated the first time, angry the next time... and if that situation keeps happening then in due course of time you first smile at it and then laugh it off saying something like "what!!! I actually got frustrated about this stupid issue!!!?? Oh cummon, how could I!!??". Extreme anger can actually make you laugh!!
Even the extremes of love lead to obsession, anger and hatred.
An unfulfilled deep desire left as it is ultimately fulfills itself... there's this line from a song - "itnaa tarse ki pyaas hii naa rahii"
This is the metamorphosis of the human mind or we could say a drastic reversal of the state of mind. On a more personal note, I find this pretty interesting. I have chosen a life full of extremes because I like a life where no rule applies, a life where no law holds good ...where you can never predict what the outcome of a particular situation would be.

Friday, December 23, 2005

I said it...

The destiny of my words is to be lost in space and time.
I know they won't come back to me.
...but I'm still counting on a phenomenon called "echo"!!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

I got my first real six-string

...Finally!!! Mom's gift for my 24th birthday and there could have been nothing better. I got a guitar - GB&A, deep blue color and I love it!!! This thing simply rocks... and in due course of time, it will make me rock!!
All my dearest posessions have names and I've named it "Hammer". To begin with, I bought a book along with it. I am currenly practicing the lessons from the book but will very soon join regular classes.
Past few days have been awfully busy... I've been wanting to make this post since last saturday but work and other things have kept me so occupied that I haven't been able to steal even a few minutes for this post. Actually, even if I get a few minutes free at home, I spend them with "Hammer" >:D. That's why I'm making this post from office.

Monday, December 05, 2005

It's that day, again!

5th December, today... it's that day again, the black day!!. The day that takes me 8 years back in time. I'm usually so busy with life that those memories don't come to me but on this day, it's like a someone just turned on a movie reel. I can see and feel every single moment of what happened on that day and the days that followed right to this day. It's like a flash... rewind and fast-forward.
It was this day that made me what I am. The day when I figured out that death was more real than life itself and conquered all my fears, the day when "we, the family" lost someone so dear to us that we feel incomplete till now, the day when "I, the school going boy" suddenly found out that life is not about fooling around with friends.... the day I grew up many years in the blink of an eye. It is this day that I summonned all my inner strength and not a single drop of tear rolled down my cheek. People who claim to know me talk about my focus, determination, passion and agression ....this day is most certainly the source of them all.
Anyway, this day will come and go as it has been till now. I never ask the question "why me??" and I've also stricken off the word "Consolation", from my dictionary and for the same reason I've disabled comments on this post. I accept things the way they are, however bad they may be, and believe in taking the bull by its horns. This day just reminds me of the fact that a single moment is enough for someone to become someone else.
He still lives in me through the things I learnt from him. I inherit my strongest virtues from him. Also his songs are with me always and whenever i'm singing one of those, I can feel his presence... I sing them with pride and someday I will pass them on to someone else.
Inspite of everything said and done, I miss you dad!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A word with god

I closed my eyes and the past 8 years just flashed in front of me. I guess, he never thought i would be silent for so long. To be honest, he did make an attempt to get us back on talking terms ...but then, as always, it was he who screwed up and angered me more. Anyway, he's trying it again... another one of his cheap tricks. So, finally i decided to break my silence and talk.
"What the hell do you think you're doing??", I asked out loud.
"Well, I'm just trying to make things better for you", came the reply.
"Better... yeah why not!! you always made things better!! you're just so good at doing that. Perhaps our definitions of the word 'better' differ in totality. The last time you made things better for me, I ended up with a heart so broken that it hurts till date ...and the time before that ...I think it's 'better' if i don't mention it." I was waiting to hear some kind of justification.
"Don't you find yourself a better man today?? Don't you feel that you've earned the position where you are?", he started.
"...and would i have been worse had everything been normal and fine", I cut him off
"I dunno but what could have given you the drive to achieve whatever you achieved", he tried to justify.
"Wow... that's great!!. You screw up someone's life under the cover of giving him the drive to acheive ...and then you have the heart to justify your cruel actions in this manner", I stood amazed. How could someone defend himself like that!??
"Fine, I agree i did bad things to you. But isn't it unfair on your part to not look at the good things. Afterall, you are the one who always talks about the 'law of averages'. Take your time and you'll see that your share of good and bad things will balance itself out", he spoke after a moment of absolute silence.
"Even if I forgive you for the times long lost, I can never forgive you for her. Why the hell did you do that to me? At a time when i had lost myself, she brought me back to life... and then when I was truly and deeply in love with her, you changed everything. Why did you show me the dream that was not meant to be. You have no idea how much that hurt", I said suppressing the anguish.
"Well, let's say you saw the wrong dream. She was there because you were losing focus. Her purpose was to bring you on the right track and she accomplished her mission. You were not supposed to be with her. However, I like it that you loved her inspite of the way she went out of your life", he anwered calmly, with a smile on his face.
Though I didn't want to accept it, I did get his point. Such a smart-ass... the best negotiator of all times. "Alright, I choose to move ahead. You know it well that i don't dig the dead. So, it's over and it's okay now. But i'm seriously worried about this new prank you're playing on me"
"It's not a prank for 'my' sake!!! She's very real and you know that", he replied.
"Yeah i know how real things are in my life. I've gotten used to your sense of realism. But I have to admit that i'm doing the same thing again. I am falling for her... rather, I have fallen for her. I hate to say this but please!! promise me you won't screw this up", I said this with a little element of expectation. I had't expected anything from him since 8 years. So, this was an uncomfortable feeling.
"You know I don't make promises. I never commit to anything", came the rather spontaneous reply.
"Yeah, I've heard that before", is all I could say.
"But then you have to have faith ...", he started.
I immediately cut him off on this one, "Don't you give me any bullshit on faith!!!"
"... alright, not in me but at least in yourself. You know it well that it is your faith in yourself and your determination that has helped you achieve whatever you have", he defended himself.
"umm, that could be said. I really feel like telling you what i've learnt. It's not about you, and it's not about the devil either. It's just me... yeah, only me. Be it your grace or the devil's force, it's me who does everything. You guys just set the stage ...I guess i've learnt to live with that fact now", I was beginning to calm down.
"You seem to have stolen our trade secret!!", he laughed.
"Hehe, it's okay... don't worry! I won't try to be god, nor the devil. But on a more serious note, I know what i'm gonna do. I will walk the path I want to. I take responsibility of my own destiny. I know I love her and I will do everything it takes to reach the heights where we could rise above everything else and be together. Now it doesn't matter even if you screw this up, again", I was composed and was talking to him like a friend.
"Hmm, I like that attitude of yours. Anyway, I have to go now... need to attend to my business", he started to walk away. "Perhaps, we should be talking more ...and more often", he said while waving me goodbye.
"Well, that depends on your conduct this time", I smiled and winked.
I opened my eyes and had a strange feeling. The kind of feeling you get on talking to someone you've known for so long but haven't spoken to since ages.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Hellraiser raises hell!

"Hellraiser", yeah ...that's the name I've given to my precious home theatre. Everyday in the morning, I play music on it for about an hour ...that is, while I get ready for office. Today I was playing songs at the "usual" volume when the neighbours sent their servant to ask me to lower the volume... and as soon as i came out of the house, there's this aunty - "can you 'please' play songs at a lower volume. We are getting disturbed". With a smile on my face I said, "Alright ma'am, I'll lower the volume right away". Finally, my "Hellraiser" lived up to its expectations. Now don't mistake me for a sadist. It was just once that i wanted to do this and also it was only the "usual" volume, as mentioned above.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Of sins, I speak

"The 7 deadly sins, each with its distinct characteristics but all leading to the fall of man, sending him straight to hell!!!"

I started my research on the sins, since the day i was told they were evil and should be kept in check. As a matter of habbit, I wanted reasons. Why are the sins evil and deadly??
is it because they send you to hell???
well, if that is the case, I don't give a damn to what happens to me after i'm dead.
is it because they lead to a fall???
umm, i think sometimes a fall is worth the pleaures that precede it.

What makes us human is our intelligence and instincts - the two things which other animals lack. So, If we lose them, we're no better than a pet dog. But the very concept of sins falls in the path of satisfying our instincs and I have always found this contradiction very annoying.
"look, but don't touch. touch, but don't taste. taste, but don't swallow" [Devil's Advocate] - aren't the rules in opposition to our instincts!!??

Pride is said to be the strongest and deadlist sin. But ain't it pride that gives you confidence to face the world? You know why pride is deadliest? It is simply because it is in direct opposition to the supremacy of god. This is what one of the sites has to say about pride - "Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity"
What is wrong if someone believes in his/her abilities? I would never undermine the strength of human caliber and the power of the human mind. I think people should be proud of who they are. Pride, definitely, is my strongest sin ...and i'm proud of it.
For those proud people, who care about what happens to them after they die, here is what happens.
Reward in hell - You'll be broken on the wheel. (Whatever that means >:-])

Envy is the second sin on the list. It is defined as "desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation". Well, this is the sin, least known to me. I have practically no element of envy in me so, never bothered to really understand it. But one thing i realised is that the cure for envy is pride. It's strange that the two deadliest sins are in direct opposition. I don't envy anyone because i'm so proud of myself that i never have to envy what others have. But then, a little envy is also required. It helps you set short term goals. What's wrong if you desire to be smart or handsome or rich like someone else? It should, in fact, give you a reason to work hard and give your best to achieve what you aim for.
Reward you get in hell - "You'll be put in freezing water" (Hypothermia won't kill you as you're already dead)

Anger/Wrath comes next in the list and here's what is said about it "Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury". This is one interesting sin because it could destroy you but if given a direction, could rocket you right to the top. It is, perhaps, the one sin that needs serious and concious control. I know this because after pride, this would be my next strong sin. Wrath is like a fire that burns inside you. Used with care, it can fuel your engines and allowed to grow, it can burn you out. You should play with fire only if you have the confidence that you can control it. The best part about wrath is that it can give you the focus and super-human strength to achieve your goals. It is an inseparable component of passion.
Reward in hell - "You'll be dismembered alive" (Victory matters, not the pieces of my body)

Sloth is kinda self-explanatory. Anyway the definition goes like this - "Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work". Spiritual work, well don't know and don't care but as far as physical work is concerned, I find this more of a health related issue, rather than a deadly sin that sends you to hell. It's your body and you have the right to do with it, whatever you want. Anyway, the heavens differ and "care" about you. So, people! stay fit, else you have a reward waiting for you in hell.
Reward in hell - "You'll be thrown into snake pits" (I'd love to be with snakes)

Greed is the next big sin. "Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual". Fact is that greed and envy, are perhaps, the only sins i hate because they have no sense of honour. Material wealth and gains are required to enjoy this short life. Hence, desire is something very natural and is fine till there is care and concern for others. The moment you lose that concern, it becomes greed. For me, greed is the biggest sin because it does no good to you at all while it destroys you and your reputation. If someone disagrees, i'd love to hear the good side of it... this side i might have missed.
Reward in hell - "You'll be boiled alive in oil" (Can you smell what Satan's cookin')

Gluttony or "an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires" is termed as the next sin. But I find this pretty controvertial. How would you define the boundry of "what a person requires". Frankly, what beyond air, water, food and shelter??? if that's the case, we are all sinners for the technological progress we made. As per the definition, the stone age seems to be the only place where we were consuming only what we required. We live in a social system and there can be no finite boundry to one's requirements. Now, there is practically no gap between necessities and luxuries. I would simply strike this off the list but hell is ready to welcome us all.
Reward in hell - "you'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes" (vegetarians?? ...and btw, what sin did the rats, toads and snakes commit???)

Lust - the forbidden fruit ...the taboo!!! Here is the definition "Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body". I see absolutely nothing wrong with lust. I have already talked about it in a couple of older posts. Lust is the desire to satisfy one's senses and denying your insticts is denying the very thing that makes you human [The Matix]. Lust would definitely be my next strongest sin after wrath. Lust and wrath together make passion, one of the strongest feelings known to man ...the fuel to some of our greatest successes.
Reward in hell - "You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone" (passion burns hotter than that, so it's okay)

...well, that's my take on the 7 "deadly" sins. At the end of it I feel I am a proud, angry, lusty, glutton and sloth sinner. What turns my sins into my strengths are the virtues of honour, honesty, love, strength and courage. While i have a strong element of pride, the element of honour in me is equally high and that makes pride harmless, yet effective. With my anger and lust, i have love and honesty which makes me walk the right path, with my passions still being my guiding force. Finally, if all shall fail and i shall fall, I have the strength and the courage to get up and walk my path ...again.
I live with my sins and love them for they are an integral part of my identity.


references from http://deadlysins.com/

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Bible of the Devil

Few would have thought what is the "bible of the devil". Well, lemme tell you that i now have a copy of this book of temptations. The other day i was at the Sony showroom and brought the sony product catalogue. It is the book of ultimate temptations. You could just go on looking at the cool stuff in there and keep imagining yourself with all of it. It was like i want this, I definitely want this and i just can't live without this. It is the ultimate book of ultimate temptaions. Indeed, the bible of the devil... and i posess a copy!!! >:)

My Preciousssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diwali time, yet again. Nothing special for me as such. I'm not too fond of diwali as such. I'm not at all into any kind of worship and not into fireworks either. So, it's typically just another day, the good part being the shopping and the good food.
Couple of days before Diwali, is the festival of Dhan-Teras. As per tradition we buy silver on this day. Now people typically buy ornaments or utensils of silver, but me being me, decided to do something different. So, what did i do??... well i bought silver too. But in the form of fine lining and wiring. What good is that.... umm, lemme elaborate.
I bought silver lining and wiring which is fixed on a circuit-board. This circuit board is mounted in a metallic frame with other circuitary, and some motors and optical instruments. All of this is inside a silver colored cabinet which is connected to 4 speakers (2 front + 2 surround 120 w RMS x 4), a centre speaker (another 120 w RMS power) and a sub-woofer (rocking 200 w RMS) ....and that totals to 800 watts of unaltered, pure digital sound. All of it put together, I bought a SONY DVD Home Theatre System .... yessssss, yesssssssssss, yesssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!! my precioussssss! my precioussssssssssss!!
woah ....finally!!!, I had been dreaming about this day since times i can't remember. Now i own .....in fact, posess a wega theatre that includes a 29" Sony Wega and a Sony DVD Home Theatre System. This beast plays everything from Audio CD to DVD, mp3 to jpeg to DivX. That means, my collection of DivX movies can now be watched with full effects. As expected, I spent the entire diwali weekend watching movies.
Looking at it from another viewpoint, i see 30K going down the drain for something that's more of a luxury while there would be other things on higher priority. But then, i didn't buy a luxury, I bought my passion...I hunted down a big dream. Compared to my satisfaction, the money i spent was peanuts. I have paid through the nose for this thing, but my policy stands intact - "no risk, no gain... and no pain, no gain".
Crazy, is what they call me because while they wait, trapped in the present, hoping that the future will turn their dreams into reality, I shoot and hunt down my dreams right away!!!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Remix!!

These days I'm high on this new remix number "Dafli waale, dafli baja". One of the very famous oldies from one of those Rishi Kapoor movies. Sometimes I really find it difficult to respond to the remix culture. Almost everyone I meet has found the entire remix business an evil empire. The general opinion remains that they have no originality and are literally screwing up some of the best stuff Indian Music Industry ever churned out. Well, my opinion kinda differs. I am totally with the remix revolution and I think the question of originality should not even be asked when the album has "REMIX" written on it in caps and bolds. Coming to the "screwing up" part of it, I think some of the remixes we've had in recent times have been simply amazing. You won't ever realize that if you listen to them on the TV for the obvious reason that the videos are so umm, distracting (took a while to find the correct adjective) that you don't concentrate on the audio of it. The real creativity out there in not in making few scantily clad women dance. It is in fact in the audio part of it. You have to admit that people like DJ Aqeel, Suketu and Harry haven't become celebs just like that. All these people did was to play some songs at most ordinary places in Mumbai and today they attract crowds and play at some of the finest and most elite places in India. Their story is not very different from that of say, Abhijit Sawant who, from a most ordinary boy, became a youth icon. They have worked hard for the success that they enjoy today. So, if they adhere to the copyrights act, noone has any right whatsoever to point fingers at them. And just like movies and songs, some remixes are good, some are not so good and some are pathetic too. If we give that freedom (to be bad) to movies and songs, remixes deserve it too.
Anyway, for those who are actually wondering which songs made me write this post, check out the following. There are some songs here, that I might have never even heard, forget liking them-
1. Roop Tera Mastana - Style Bhai (I guess this is where it all started)
2. Chandni Raatein - Bally Sagoo
3. Tere Bin Nahin Lagda - Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan/Partners In Rhyme
4. Intezaar - Anamika
5. Kaliyon Ka Chaman
6. Dil Kya Kare/Julie - Instant Karma
7. Tu, Tu hai Wahi
8. Chadti Jawaani
9. Pardesiya
10. Badan Pe Sitaare
11. Ja Re Ja
12. Dafli Waale

I'm sure i have missed out many of them, but at least these are the ones that immediately came to mind. I haven't mentioned the remixed version of songs in the movies today and that's gonna be a big list of really nice songs.
Well then, if you don't have the talent to do it, then be professional and don't degrade someone else's hardwork.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

The one thing i can't do

All these days, I've seen us together,
...and here we are, closer than ever
You gave me back, my poem ...my words,
that i had lost, in a life among nerds
Now, here I am, in love with you,
with the core of my heart, shining anew
I'd die for you , I'd live for you,
and all I have, I'd give for you
But,
with everything, I'd do for you,
there is one thing, I can not do
...and that one thing, I leave to thee,
for I just can not, make you love me

-- Manas Saran (29th Sept, 2005)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I said it...

There is nothing more exciting than doing the dont's!!