Aaj mere kisii apne ne,
koi apna khoya
Maine socha ki uska koi
bhalaa, mera kya lagaa?
...par jab usse milaa
to ek vichitr aabhaas hua
Mere liye to sab kuchh pehle sa tha
Phir bhi kuchh kho dene
ka sa ehsaas hua
Uski aankhon mein thodi namii thii
Aaj usko koi kamii thii
Mein do ghadi saath baitha,
thoda saath to nibhaayaa,
thoda sa dukh chakh liya
aur thoda saath baandh laaayaa
Jo nahiin raha, woh mera koi nahiin tha
Mein to usse mila bhi nahiin tha
Mujhe usse baandhne waali,
bas ek hi kachchi dor thii
...ki woh mere kisii apne ka apna koi tha
Kisii aur ki bhaavanaaon ke aaveg mein,
jab hum swayam hi behte hain
Uska dukh apna lagna,
ise apnaapan kehte hain
...lagta hai ki aaj maine koi apna khoya!
-- Manas Saran (29th Dec, 2005)
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
I said it...
Life makes us learn so much! ...but for what???
Ultimately, we all die before applying even 10% of the knowledge!!!
Ultimately, we all die before applying even 10% of the knowledge!!!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Means and extremes
Yesterday I was listening to ghazals and other shayari by Mirza Ghalib and one particular line caught my attention... or I could say made my day (good poems can make my day). Anyway, he says "dard kaa had se guzarnaa hai dava ho jaanaa". I found it so contradictory, yet so true and then I was thinking about the extremes in life in general.
Living life at extremes is a wierd experience. You see things changing in an absolutely unpredictable way. I am someone who's always on the edge... experiencing the extremes of everything in life. My experiments with life, out of which most happen to be circumstantial and some intentional, have made me realize that life at extremes is so full of paradoxes. These are phenomena that most people with average lifestyles (or life at means) never experience. Whether these are good or bad is a matter or perception because it is one extreme case that turns coal into diamond and another that reduces a shining star to a black hole.
There have been times when I've shouted "woah... this is the rush I always wanted!!!" and times when I said "why can't my life be just normal!!??" and I've made both statements with equal emotional intensity. This is just the beginning and we can already see the paradoxes emerging.
Extremes of sensitivity actually makes you immune to emotional damage, thus rendering you insensitive. This isn't much different from the process of biological immunization against diseases. We are born with a wish to live... as life goes on and gets tougher, the wish to live becomes the will to survive. With our natural tendency to defend ourselves from any kind of damage be it physical or emotional, we do react subconciously.
Another major paradox is with anger and frustration. You get frustrated the first time, angry the next time... and if that situation keeps happening then in due course of time you first smile at it and then laugh it off saying something like "what!!! I actually got frustrated about this stupid issue!!!?? Oh cummon, how could I!!??". Extreme anger can actually make you laugh!!
Even the extremes of love lead to obsession, anger and hatred.
An unfulfilled deep desire left as it is ultimately fulfills itself... there's this line from a song - "itnaa tarse ki pyaas hii naa rahii"
This is the metamorphosis of the human mind or we could say a drastic reversal of the state of mind. On a more personal note, I find this pretty interesting. I have chosen a life full of extremes because I like a life where no rule applies, a life where no law holds good ...where you can never predict what the outcome of a particular situation would be.
Living life at extremes is a wierd experience. You see things changing in an absolutely unpredictable way. I am someone who's always on the edge... experiencing the extremes of everything in life. My experiments with life, out of which most happen to be circumstantial and some intentional, have made me realize that life at extremes is so full of paradoxes. These are phenomena that most people with average lifestyles (or life at means) never experience. Whether these are good or bad is a matter or perception because it is one extreme case that turns coal into diamond and another that reduces a shining star to a black hole.
There have been times when I've shouted "woah... this is the rush I always wanted!!!" and times when I said "why can't my life be just normal!!??" and I've made both statements with equal emotional intensity. This is just the beginning and we can already see the paradoxes emerging.
Extremes of sensitivity actually makes you immune to emotional damage, thus rendering you insensitive. This isn't much different from the process of biological immunization against diseases. We are born with a wish to live... as life goes on and gets tougher, the wish to live becomes the will to survive. With our natural tendency to defend ourselves from any kind of damage be it physical or emotional, we do react subconciously.
Another major paradox is with anger and frustration. You get frustrated the first time, angry the next time... and if that situation keeps happening then in due course of time you first smile at it and then laugh it off saying something like "what!!! I actually got frustrated about this stupid issue!!!?? Oh cummon, how could I!!??". Extreme anger can actually make you laugh!!
Even the extremes of love lead to obsession, anger and hatred.
An unfulfilled deep desire left as it is ultimately fulfills itself... there's this line from a song - "itnaa tarse ki pyaas hii naa rahii"
This is the metamorphosis of the human mind or we could say a drastic reversal of the state of mind. On a more personal note, I find this pretty interesting. I have chosen a life full of extremes because I like a life where no rule applies, a life where no law holds good ...where you can never predict what the outcome of a particular situation would be.
Friday, December 23, 2005
I said it...
The destiny of my words is to be lost in space and time.
I know they won't come back to me.
...but I'm still counting on a phenomenon called "echo"!!!
I know they won't come back to me.
...but I'm still counting on a phenomenon called "echo"!!!
Friday, December 16, 2005
I got my first real six-string
...Finally!!! Mom's gift for my 24th birthday and there could have been nothing better. I got a guitar - GB&A, deep blue color and I love it!!! This thing simply rocks... and in due course of time, it will make me rock!!
All my dearest posessions have names and I've named it "Hammer". To begin with, I bought a book along with it. I am currenly practicing the lessons from the book but will very soon join regular classes.
Past few days have been awfully busy... I've been wanting to make this post since last saturday but work and other things have kept me so occupied that I haven't been able to steal even a few minutes for this post. Actually, even if I get a few minutes free at home, I spend them with "Hammer" >:D. That's why I'm making this post from office.
All my dearest posessions have names and I've named it "Hammer". To begin with, I bought a book along with it. I am currenly practicing the lessons from the book but will very soon join regular classes.
Past few days have been awfully busy... I've been wanting to make this post since last saturday but work and other things have kept me so occupied that I haven't been able to steal even a few minutes for this post. Actually, even if I get a few minutes free at home, I spend them with "Hammer" >:D. That's why I'm making this post from office.
Monday, December 05, 2005
It's that day, again!
5th December, today... it's that day again, the black day!!. The day that takes me 8 years back in time. I'm usually so busy with life that those memories don't come to me but on this day, it's like a someone just turned on a movie reel. I can see and feel every single moment of what happened on that day and the days that followed right to this day. It's like a flash... rewind and fast-forward.
It was this day that made me what I am. The day when I figured out that death was more real than life itself and conquered all my fears, the day when "we, the family" lost someone so dear to us that we feel incomplete till now, the day when "I, the school going boy" suddenly found out that life is not about fooling around with friends.... the day I grew up many years in the blink of an eye. It is this day that I summonned all my inner strength and not a single drop of tear rolled down my cheek. People who claim to know me talk about my focus, determination, passion and agression ....this day is most certainly the source of them all.
Anyway, this day will come and go as it has been till now. I never ask the question "why me??" and I've also stricken off the word "Consolation", from my dictionary and for the same reason I've disabled comments on this post. I accept things the way they are, however bad they may be, and believe in taking the bull by its horns. This day just reminds me of the fact that a single moment is enough for someone to become someone else.
He still lives in me through the things I learnt from him. I inherit my strongest virtues from him. Also his songs are with me always and whenever i'm singing one of those, I can feel his presence... I sing them with pride and someday I will pass them on to someone else.
Inspite of everything said and done, I miss you dad!!
It was this day that made me what I am. The day when I figured out that death was more real than life itself and conquered all my fears, the day when "we, the family" lost someone so dear to us that we feel incomplete till now, the day when "I, the school going boy" suddenly found out that life is not about fooling around with friends.... the day I grew up many years in the blink of an eye. It is this day that I summonned all my inner strength and not a single drop of tear rolled down my cheek. People who claim to know me talk about my focus, determination, passion and agression ....this day is most certainly the source of them all.
Anyway, this day will come and go as it has been till now. I never ask the question "why me??" and I've also stricken off the word "Consolation", from my dictionary and for the same reason I've disabled comments on this post. I accept things the way they are, however bad they may be, and believe in taking the bull by its horns. This day just reminds me of the fact that a single moment is enough for someone to become someone else.
He still lives in me through the things I learnt from him. I inherit my strongest virtues from him. Also his songs are with me always and whenever i'm singing one of those, I can feel his presence... I sing them with pride and someday I will pass them on to someone else.
Inspite of everything said and done, I miss you dad!!
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